正文 第三十六章                                                                                                             早上醒来的时候有一瞬间我有点恍神，还以为自己在自己是房间里面，一直过了一会之后才反应过来。                                                                                                             习惯x一个人的生活，醒来的时候还真的有点不大习惯的。                                                                                                             浑身酸疼的让人更加不想动了，像是整个人的骨头被拆散过后再重组了一回一样，原本就懒洋洋的不想起来，现在这种感觉更加强烈了。                                                                                                             床的另外一边已经空了下来，顺手m过去，这温度已经冷了下来，这人走应该有好一会了。                                                                                                             双腿之间的痕迹似乎也已经被清理过了，对此我没有半点印象，也不知道他什么时候做的。                                                                                                             我坐起身，看到床头柜上留着一串钥匙，下面还压着一张留言纸，还好留下的不是钱，不然还真的有一种被p的感觉。                                                                                                             我ch0u过那一张留言纸。                                                                                                             钥匙放桌上了，要是出去别忘记带上，厨房有吃的，吃过东西之后给我一个电话。                                                                                                             李澈的字写的很不错，绝对是有练过的那种，看上去和模板似的，一笔一划有棱有角。                                                                                                             看着他这种叮嘱，怎么看都觉得有点不大适应，像是太过于亲近了点，我觉得有点可怕。                                                                                                             我扯着身上的被子，坐起了身，后来又想起这里不是自己的家，昨天的衣服已经换了下来，如果不出意料的话，估计还丢在那衣物篮里面。                                                                                                             我打开了李澈的衣柜，从那挂着的衣橱里面拿了一条白衬衫，男人和nv人本质上还是差不多，nv人的衣柜里面永远少一件衣服，男人可以同样款式同样颜se的衣服有很多件，就像现在李澈那打开的衣柜里面显示的那样，那白衬衫在我眼中看上去基本上都是一样的。                                                                                                             我扯了李澈一件白衬衫套上，还顺手签羊，签了他一条簇新簇新的ck内k。                                                                                                             总不能让我什么都不穿就这样在屋子里面晃吧，那多不合适，虽然穿男人的内k是有点怪异……                                                                                                             而且，翻了他的衣柜我才发现，这男人居然还有丁字k，果真是闷sao男人的典范。                                                                                                             床单上一片狼藉，上面还有着证明着所谓的贞洁那玩意，但是早就已经g涸掉了，颜se也变成暗褐se，看起来特别的碍眼。                                                                                                             我把被子抱到一边，把床单扯了出来。                                                                                                             其实看着那一块地方，我也很忧郁，很想效仿一部小言里面的nv主一样把那一块给剪掉，眼不见为净。但是这屋子是李澈的，剪刀放在哪里我不是很清楚，万一要是真的剪掉了之后他要我赔怎么办，我最近节目都已经停掉了，也不知道是不是停职留薪。                                                                                                             我抱着被单去了卫生间，把床单往着里头的洗衣机里面一丢，抓过一边小架子上放着洗衣粉，g脆就是直接给洗了。                                                                                                             原本是打算先昨天换下来的衣服，但是看到那衣物篮里面空空荡荡的，也不知道李澈是把我的衣服给洗了还是给弄到哪里去了。                                                                                                             卫生间的洗手台上摆着新的牙刷，外头的包装盒还没有拆掉，看起来像是为我做的准备。                                                                                                             刷完牙洗完脸，我顺着李澈留言上的话去厨房找吃的。                                                                                                             他煮了小米粥，就在电饭锅里面保温着，过了那么长的时间，小米粥稍微有点稠。                                                                                                             我从橱柜里面拿了一个碗盛了一碗，粥里面加了糖可以直接这么吃着，但是不算特别的甜腻。                                                                                                             才刚刚把碗给洗掉，手机铃声就已经响了起来。                                                                                                             ch0u了两张纸巾把手擦g，我从客厅的沙发上m到了自己的包，从里面m出了不停吵着的手机。                                                                                                             我原本还以为会是李澈打过来的电话，但是这一看来电显示人居然是杨逸学长，不是昨天晚上才刚吃过晚饭么，怎么现在又打电话过来给我了？                                                                                                             “喂，学长？”我按下了通话键，招呼着。                                                                                                             “阿墨，我帮你问过了，”杨逸学长在电话那头咋呼着，“听说你节目停当是上头给的压力。你是不是得罪了什么人？”                                                                                                             上头给的压力？                                                                                                             我做这档子节目也不是一天两天了，怎么可能会突然之间说是得罪了人，就算是得罪人，要停早就停掉了，怎么可能还会在现在这个时候突然之间全部都出现了。                                                                                                             我直觉反应就是和最近发生的一些事情有关，闭上眼，脑海中不由地出现靳骐的脸，居然觉得有点被自己刚刚的想法给惊吓到，这件事情怎么可能会和他牵扯上关系。                                                                                                             “恩，我知道了。”                                                                                                             我应着，也亏的杨逸学长把这事上了心，立马就帮我问出了缘由来。                                                                                                             “听口气看来，你的节目停摆还得有一阵子。”杨逸问着，从电话里面听来他的声音还为我带了点隐忧，“阿墨，你打算怎么办？”                                                                                                             我虚应了几声，然后挂了学长的电话。                                                                                                             其实我真的是不知道要怎么办的，听杨逸学长这语气，看起来这等待的日子还是得延长的，这种无期徒刑最让人觉得痛苦了，可是除了等待，并没有一个刑满释放的日子。                                                                                                             反正摆在我面前的路只有两条，一是等待，二是辞职。                                                                                                             中午的时候，我出门了一趟，去了一趟电台，现在手头上的工作也不是很多，前一天把今天要录音的节目已经录播好了，就算是现在过去也是录播明天的节目。                                                                                                             以前在夏天的时候大家都是赶早着去电台，然后在电台里面c科打诨一直到晚上温度下去了之后才回家，现在天气一凉，基本上前一天会超额完成工作，为得第二天能够睡个懒觉晚点去录音室和直播间。                                                                                                             当然穿的不可能是李澈衬衫和西装k，要是真的穿了他的衣服还真的有点不l不类的感觉，穿的是我昨天来这的时候穿的那一套，李澈不知道什么时候给洗了，就大大方方地晒在yan台上。                                                                                                             我一直认为nv人的衣物，至少是贴身的衣物男人通常是不愿意去触碰的，更别说去洗了，这个男人却是颠覆了我的认知。                                                                                                             处理完一些事情回到李澈住处之前，我去自己住的地方拿了几身换洗衣服，总不能让我一直穿他的衣服还有内k吧，回去的时候，我顺手在超市里面逛了一圈，买了点菜。                                                                                                             李澈厨房冰箱里面东西少的可怜，保鲜区里面只有**蛋，冷冻库里面只有水饺一类的，果然很有独居男人的范儿，估计一直以来吃的也都是外食。                                                                                                             当然买菜其实不算是重点，重点是买了一条新的床单。                                                                                                             我不知道往常的李澈都是在什么时候回来的，但是今天回来的时候挺早，手上还拿着公文包。                                                                                                             我刚从厨房把汤给端出来，桌上摆了两菜葱油芋艿，金针菇小炒，端在手上的汤是鲫鱼豆腐汤。我不知道李澈今晚回不回来吃饭，但是他不吃，我自己还得吃。                                                                                                             “回来了？”                                                                                                             我很自然很顺口地问着，就像是往常在家的时候面对回来的爸妈一样。                                                                                                             李澈微微愣了愣，随即地点了点头。                                                                                                             “恩。”                                                                                                             他站在玄关处换鞋，然后又开口问着。                                                                                                             “你没瞧见我给你留的纸条，怎么不给我打个电话？”                                                                                                             “忘记了。”                                                                                                             我回他，倒不是真的忘记，只是不知道要说什么，难道要像是一个情人一样打电话去用带着抱怨的口吻说“你昨晚好粗暴，我好难受”这种话？                                                                                                             打si我也说不出口。                                                                                                             “你吃了没？”我转过话题，看着随意把手上的公文包丢在沙发上，顺手扯松了自己领带的李澈。                                                                                                             李澈摇了摇头，表示自己还没吃。                                                                                                             “菜少了点，两个人应该够吃了，要是不够，再炒个小青菜？”我问李澈。                                                                                                             “不用那么麻烦，够了。”                                                                                                             李澈摆手，然后自动自发地去厨房洗手兼盛饭。                                                                                                             “我也要一碗。”我在后头补充，坐在那儿等着人给我服务。                                                                                                             李澈这大老爷们似乎吃的挺欢快的，我见他最后把那一碗汤喝下肚子，看着桌上那光洁溜溜的两个盘子和一个汤碗，我突然觉得，我最后的时候还真的是应该去炒一个青菜的。                                                                                                             “手艺好像没生疏……”李澈咕哝了一句。                                                                                                             “那是自然，一技傍身么！”我得意，然后收拾了桌子把碗筷盆子端进厨房。                                                                                                             “李澈，你把桌子擦一下。”                                                                                                             我叮咛。                                                                                                             “恩。”                                                                                                             李澈应了一声。                                                                                                             我也不去管李澈是不是真的有在擦桌子还是随口应我就算的，径自洗着碗，然后被那横里斜出的手臂吓了一跳。                                                                                                             温热的身t紧贴着我，在厨房里面做着这种动作，有种熟悉的感觉。                                                                                                             “很久以前，我就在想，这样抱着人会是怎么的一种感受……”李澈的下巴搁在我的肩膀上，他的手环抱住我的腰，“有点rr的，很温暖……”“我怎么感觉像是r包子吧？”我听着他那形容，忍不住开口吐槽，听他那形容，我怎么听怎么觉得像是刚刚出炉的热包子。                                                                                                             李澈闷笑出声，他的手慢慢地在我腰侧游移着，然后慢慢地往上发展而去，最后握住了那柔软。                                                                                                             “凌墨，我们登记结婚吧，然后生个孩子……”李澈开口，声音低哑，带点诱惑的味道，“你看我们现在不是好好的么……”                                                                                                             我皱了皱眉。                                                                                                             “不……”我听见我说。                                                                                                             作者有话要说：别嫌弃r素啊，要知道我原本就打算用两句我觉得很萌的话来概括的，我一直觉得那两句话概括能力忒强了，给你们看看，那两句话是神马样的话。                                                                                                             李澈：好小好热好紧……                                                                                                             凌墨：好大好撑好疼……                                                                                                             对不起，姐yd了……                                                                                                             正文 第三十七章                                                                                                             “凌墨！”                                                                                                             李澈声音有些不敢置信。                                                                                                             其实，我也有点不敢相信，我以一个剩nv之资拒绝了一个优质的浑身冒着油光的绩优gu，被谁知道，估计都得直接一掌拍上来，看看我是不是糊涂到了极点。                                                                                                             “你想怎么着？”                                                                                                             他咬着我的耳垂，一手或轻或重地r0u着柔软，一手则是慢慢下滑，穿过裙子，在大腿上轻抚之着，而后又在那边缘地带磨蹭着。                                                                                                             这男人……                                                                                                             “还觉得哪里不爽的，最好一次x说出来给我听听……”                                                                                                             李澈的吻细细地落在我的脖子上，su麻的让人觉得双腿都有点发软，小腹有点sao乱，让人联想起几个小时前的热夜，有点sao动的感觉。                                                                                                             好吧，这是正常的反应，就像是男人看毛片的时候还不是照常有反应一样，我觉得没啥可耻的。                                                                                                             可耻的事情，这个男人说的话让我觉得有点一语双关的味道，很意有所指。                                                                                                             “李澈，你发情呢？！”                                                                                                             我手上捏着盘子，突然很想直接头也不回地照他脑门上砸过去，该不会食骨知髓了吧，能不能给我一个缓冲点，要是天天这样，拼的不是命，而是肾啊，而且就算不是他的肾，也是我的肾。                                                                                                             “为什么不想嫁给我？”                                                                                                             李澈没有理会我的抱怨，手上小动作不断，当然的连b问也不断，虽然他的语气尚属平和，但是我就是知道这个小心眼的男人一定是生气了，他就是这么一个记恨的人。                                                                                                             “你都27了，要生孩子最好在三十岁之前生，高龄产妇b较有危险，你要真不想生不生也行咱们就不要小孩……”                                                                                                             李澈的吻一路往下，然后有些恶毒地在肩头的位子上咬了一口。                                                                                                             我手一抖，手上的盘子差一点直接摔下去，堪堪地接住了之后，我也恼了，把碗筷盘子从水池里面端了上来，原本还打算擦g了之后再放入橱柜的，但是现在看来，在和这个男人说清楚之间别想要做其他的事情。                                                                                                             “李澈！”                                                                                                             我低吼，转身面对着站在我身后的李澈，顺带思索着要怎么和他说清楚，李澈也没有其他的动作，只是挑着眉头看着我，似乎也在等着我开口。                                                                                                             “你知道的，我们都已经是成年人了，”我想了想之后，决定现实地开口，“像是这种事情吧，都是你情我愿的，也不一定说做了之后就得负责是不是，就算是负责吧，也不一定得结婚是不是？”“……”                                                                                                             我不敢再说下去了，因为我多说一句，李澈的脸se越黑上一分，到后来的时候基本上都带了点现磨墨汁味。                                                                                                             “你情我愿，恩？”                                                                                                             李澈靠近了几分，双手撑在我身侧，把我控制在那一方小小的地儿，动弹不得，挣脱不得。                                                                                                             “做了之后也不需要负责，恩？”                                                                                                             李澈那一张俊颜凑近了几分，我不得不往后仰着，从他那蹦得紧紧的脸se还有那像是着了火的眼睛都让我觉得害怕。                                                                                                             “凌墨你可真是够深明大义的！”李澈冷哼。                                                                                                             深明大义这个词似乎不应该是在现在这种情况下的吧？我很想纠正李澈的用词不当，但是他现在的步步紧b让我g本就没有这个胆量说出这句话。                                                                                                             “我是不是应该感恩戴德，恩？”李澈臭着一张脸问我。                                                                                                             其实你要真感激我，我也不反对，真的。                                                                                                             李澈的吻带着怒气铺天盖地而来，吻的让人有点透不过气。                                                                                                             “唔……”                                                                                                             我闪躲着李澈的吻，但是这男人却si都不肯放过我，狠狠地咬着唇。                                                                                                             “你就指望着离开我是吧！”李澈咬着我唇含糊不清地说着。                                                                                                             我sh漉漉的手敲打着李澈的背，这家伙是属狗的吧，怎么动不动就喜欢咬人！                                                                                                             在一个男人动怒的情况下，他所有的情绪基本上都会用行动来宣泄，而如果身边有nv人的情况下，基本上都是被当做灭火器来使用的。                                                                                                             我终于深有t会了。                                                                                                             “听说，套子避孕的成功率是99%，事后药的成功率是78%，你说有没有可能那么恰恰好中了那22%的几率？”                                                                                                             李澈懒洋洋地靠着我，餍足之后的声音带点喑哑，又透着一点算计的味道。                                                                                                             这个男人是故意的……                                                                                                             “反正是你情我愿对吧，也不需要为此负责对吧……”                                                                                                             哦，这男人是在记恨！                                                                                                             我了解了，而且是身t力行的了解，很彻底。                                                                                                             我紧紧地巴住身前这个男人就像是在海面上好不容易抓住的浮木一样，倒不是我想这样，而是我全身发软发虚，常年不运动的宅nv很显然不是运动高手，更何况男人在这种事情上原本就处于攻击模式。                                                                                                             只是这个男人的攻击力委实有点强悍。                                                                                                             “要洗澡还是要怎么样？”                                                                                                             李澈退了出来，低着头看我，每次看到他那种姿态的时候，我都觉得有着一种自己化身成为猎物被猎豹盯住的感觉。                                                                                                             “没力气。”                                                                                                             我叹气，我连手指的力气都用光了，一点都不想动弹了。                                                                                                             李澈打横抱我。                                                                                                             这还是我第一次享受公主抱的待遇，这待遇甚美好，还真的有点让人眷恋的感觉。为什么被称为“公主抱”，大概是这种的动作真的太过温柔，太过于小心翼翼，就像真的是在对待公主一样。                                                                                                             所以nv孩子的内心渴望的不是被人这样抱着，而像是公主一样被人呵护。                                                                                                             “帮我拿一下睡衣，在房间的行李袋里面。”                                                                                                             我提醒，这付出总得有点收获，奴役这个男人也是一种不错的选择。                                                                                                             “恩。”                                                                                                             李澈应了一声，然后出了浴室。                                                                                                             但是等到我洗完了澡，这个答应给我拿睡衣的男人也还没有进来浴室。                                                                                                             难道又要我裹着浴巾穿过整个客厅回房间么？                                                                                                             我有些烦躁地裹上浴巾，拉开了卫生间的门。                                                                                                             “李澈，你到底帮不帮我拿睡衣？”                                                                                                             我嚷出了口，等到我说完了之后才发现客厅除了李澈的存在之外，还有另外一个人的存在。                                                                                                             靳骐坐在沙发上，表情诧异无b。                                                                                                             我低头看了一眼自己，围着一条浴巾，只遮盖住了重点部位，赤着脚sh答答地站在地板上，明眼人一看就知道g了什么好事。                                                                                                             我重新闪进浴室，关上门，背靠着门板，心跳在瞬间擂动的很快。                                                                                                             这个样子见到靳骐还是有些意外的，还有突然之间有着一种涌现的……报复一样的快感？！                                                                                                             我想我疯了。                                                                                                             “阿墨为什么会在你这？”                                                                                                             靳骐的声音透过门板传过来，有点震撼的味道。                                                                                                             “答案不是很明显么。”                                                                                                             相b较靳骐被震撼的，李澈看起来就有点早有准备一样，镇定还有沉稳。                                                                                                             “无耻！”                                                                                                             “在你离开的那么多年，早该有这种觉悟不是？就算她的身边不是我，也有可能是别人，阿骐，你别自欺欺人。”                                                                                                             一声重重的摔门声传来，客厅里面不再有声音。                                                                                                             李澈的话我也听到了，其实说的很多，就算在我身边多年的不是他也有可能是其他人，只是偏偏在我身边的人是他而已。                                                                                                             我听到脚步声响起，一会之后，李澈推了推浴室的门，我退开一步，然后开了门，他站在门外手上拿着我的睡衣。                                                                                                             “怎么了，又不高兴了？”李澈问我，他的脸上带着浅笑，好像刚刚的事情都没有发生过一样，“我还以为你多少会有点报复一样的快感。”                                                                                                             “你想啊，一个多年前抛弃你还对你念念不忘的人在一个男人的家里面见到只围着浴巾的多年前被抛弃至今也依旧难以忘怀的你，话题中的男人还是对方的表哥，这种感觉应该多少有点报复的感觉吧！”                                                                                                             李澈问我，在他的眼中，我似乎完全无所遁形。                                                                                                             “李澈！”                                                                                                             我看他，突然觉得有点鼻子发酸，眼睛一涩，眼前就有点模糊了起来。                                                                                                             “好了好了，”李澈上前来抱着我，拍着我的肩膀，像是在安慰一样，“我都不介意被你利用，你还有什么好哭的。”                                                                                                             我扯着李澈衣袖，像是一个小孩一样把眼泪鼻涕往着他那高档的衬衫上蹭着。                                                                                                             “我没利用你。”我抗议。                                                                                                             我承认在见到靳骐的时候我的确突然有一种像是报复一样的感觉，但是我从来都没有利用过李澈，甚至也没有想到用这一点利用他来达到报复的目的。                                                                                                             “我知道，你不就是想我陪在你身边这么多年，多少总是要赔偿我点，然后才好拍拍pgu直接走人么，不然的话你也不可能随我为所yu为不是？”                                                                                                             李澈语气重重地叹了一口气，语气之中带了点无可奈何。                                                                                                             我觉得李澈这个男人真的有点可怕，料事如神的让人浑身起**皮疙瘩，对于这个男人我第一次产生了害怕的念头。                                                                                                             在他眼中，我完全无所遁形。                                                                                                             “凌墨，你说你现在要是一块泥巴该有多好。”李澈轻喃了一句，“这样搓圆搓扁都能由着我的意思来，也不需要那么的烦恼了。”                                                                                                             我心一惊，面对这样的李澈，我没有办法，或者，真的没有办法全身而退。                                                                                                             番外一                                                                                                             我认识凌墨，b她想象中的还要早了些，只是她本人没有意识到，或者全然没有印象。                                                                                                             那个时候大约是在大一下半学期时候吧，班上的篮球的一个人不小心扭了脚，我被推出去打那篮球赛。                                                                                                             男生对于篮球多少是不陌生的，那么多年学习生涯上总是少不得玩上一玩的，我闲着没事的时候总会和还在高中的表弟一起玩玩。                                                                                                             班上的其实可以凑数的男人也不在他，但是他寝室老大正好是班长，他都开了口，为了在寝室里面有点安宁日子可以混，而且不用打扫卫生，我当然答应了上场。                                                                                                             计算机系对战中文系。                                                                                                             其实赢面是处于一面倒的情况的，中文系一向是b较少男人的科系，像是z大还好，多少还是有点男生可以撑撑场面，如果是在师范学校，一班的娘子军团，男人就是那壁上花。                                                                                                             上半场就已经把b分拉开不少了，中场休息的时候，中文系那五个男生累的直喘气。                                                                                                             我时不时会玩玩篮球，所以也倒觉得还好，没有大喘气，站在一边喝着队友递过来的矿泉水，在那边慢慢悠悠地喝着。                                                                                                             “嘿，阿墨，有帅哥！”                                                                                                             小声的讨论声在球场边响起，还是透着点兴奋。                                                                                                             “我们中文系哪里来的帅哥哟！”                                                                                                             又响起了一道声音，带了点软糯的味道，听起来似乎是中文系的人，但是很明显的对自己系上不抱有任何希望的。                                                                                                             “我说的是计算机系！”                                                                                                             “我看不大清楚……”                                                                                                             “凌墨，叫你丫的不戴眼睛，上课也不戴眼睛，一个学期下来有多少老师那张脸你是记得的……”                                                                                                             “那种满是皱纹和菊花一样的脸不记得也没有关系吧……”                                                                                                             这声音离的有点近，带了点吵闹，让我忍不住去寻找那声音源。                                                                                                             其实并不算是难找，那两个姑娘离他这边并不算是特别远，其中一个剪了娃娃头长的有点娃娃样子的nv孩子拿着手上的书敲打着在她身边的扎着马尾的nv孩子。                                                                                                             那nv孩脸上带着笑，一双眼睛不算大，但是却si命地做出睁大眼睛往着球场上的看的动作来，这样的动作，反倒让她有了点si鱼眼的味道。                                                                                                             这也是近视人员经常会有的动作，在不戴眼睛的情况下努力把睁眼来看清东西。                                                                                                             她睁了半天，最后还是泱泱地m了m脑袋，一脸委屈地看着站在自己身边的nv孩子。                                                                                                             “除了衣服和身形，真的看不大清楚……”她扁着嘴问着，“到底哪边是计算机系的，哪边是我们中文系的？”                                                                                                             身边的那个nv孩子露出挫败的表情。                                                                                                             我终于忍不住笑出了声。                                                                                                             不由得，也多看了那nv孩子两眼，她穿着t恤衫，牛仔k白球鞋，手上抱着书像是刚下课回来，也不化妆，只是简简单单地扎着马尾的，看上去很g净的味道。                                                                                                             她不漂亮，顶多也就是清秀而已，但是瞅上去却是特别的舒服。                                                                                                             这得有多大的近视才能看不清楚啊，我想着。                                                                                                             裁判吹响了哨子表示下半场b赛开始了。                                                                                                             我走上了场，也顺带记下了记下了那个名字。                                                                                                             凌墨呵……                                                                                                             毕竟不是一个系一个班的，所以我也没有再见到过凌墨，也许在校园里面同一个食堂之中有过擦肩而过的场景，只是我没发现，她也没有留意。                                                                                                             再见到凌墨，情况还是有点出乎李我的意料之外。                                                                                                             被点名通告批评，这一点我也是没有留意到的，那个时候学校ga0了整风运动，专门抓逃课的人，而且点名时间不定，有可能是在上课前也有可能是在下课时间。                                                                                                             那一天我有事，为了防止这种点名不到的情况发生，我还特地把他那个没有课的表弟给叫了出来，塞给他书，劳驾他去凑一次数，就连班长方面他都已经打好了招呼，尽量把这小子塞在门边那种不起眼的地方，一等点完名就能够让他直接走人。                                                                                                             没有想到这样还能够出点篓子。                                                                                                             “嘿，肯定是那人。”                                                                                                             靳骐坐在我寝室里面，脸上的笑的坏坏的，像是逮到了鱼的猫一样，腥腻的很。                                                                                                             我知道他这个表弟的一贯习x，肯定是遇上了点什么有趣的事情，算了，反正也就这么由着去了。                                                                                                             只是没有想到会在这样的情况下再见到凌墨。                                                                                                             其实距离那一次的见面已经有点远了，甚至我自己都觉得已经把那个nv孩子给忘记掉了，但是在看到凌墨踩着拖鞋噼噼啪啪地从nv生寝室出来的时候，我发现其实自己还没有忘记，所有的记忆还是很鲜明，甚至闭上眼他还能记得那个时候她穿着t恤，牛仔k白球鞋扎着马尾睁着眼睛站在篮球场边缘的样子。                                                                                                             清晰无b，绝对可以称作为无|码。                                                                                                             我第一次隔了那么久还记得一个nv孩子的样子。                                                                                                             她耷拉着脑袋，十足可怜样，就连头都不敢抬一下，只敢眼巴巴可怜兮兮地看着站在自己身边的那个叫赵倩的nv孩子。                                                                                                             从凌墨出现的时候，我就差不多已经猜出了故事的大概。                                                                                                             只是很多时候，猜中了开口，却是猜不中结局。                                                                                                             后来，她和靳骐在一起了。                                                                                                             我很不看好这段感情，因为我知道，她终究还是要受伤的。其实来z大念不念大学对于靳骐来说并不是那么的重要，早在学期开始的时候，他的签证就已经下来了，等待着二月份的开学就走。                                                                                                             所以靳骐在国内停留的时间不过半年而已，他一定会走，我知道，他也很清楚。                                                                                                             有时候，我还是挺埋怨靳骐的，明知道最后还是会让她伤心，为什么还是要给她一个希望，这不是对她更加残忍么。                                                                                                             但是我不能说，怎么说都是残忍的，我想让她多一点开心的时间，至少最后回忆起来的时候剩下的不都是痛苦。                                                                                                             可我还是想要提醒她，不要把所有的注意力都放在靳骐身上，他一走，也许她真的会崩溃。                                                                                                             “李澈你真讨厌！”                                                                                                             她双手叉腰地对着我嚷嚷，鼓着腮帮子，像是一个包子一样。                                                                                                             我知道她又觉得我讨厌了，因为我又再次“诅咒”了她的ai情，很恶毒的，我几乎每天都会“诅咒”一次，告诉她，她和靳骐之间是不会有什么好结果的。                                                                                                             被她厌恶，这也是在意料之中，我捧着手上的杯子，慢慢悠悠地喝着杯子里面的咖啡，把她的话当做耳边风。                                                                                                             她也就敢在靳骐不在场的时候对我嚷嚷了，靳骐在的时候，她就算再不爽也得隐忍着我。                                                                                                             就像是现在，靳骐感冒了，在屋子里头睡着，她答应留下来吃过晚饭再走，所以也就和我一起呆在客厅里面，即便是不爽，声音还是压低了很多。                                                                                                             “喂，喝那么多咖啡，小心胃会坏掉！”她依旧鼓着一张脸，但是语气放软了许多，“下次改喝一下红茶吧，据说不伤胃，不过最好还是喝点牛n一类的。”                                                                                                             我喝咖啡的动作稍微顿了顿，喝完手上的咖啡，然后把杯子递给她。                                                                                                             “那帮我泡一杯红茶吧。”                                                                                                             我突然觉得自己有点无耻。                                                                                                             她睁大了眼睛瞪着我，像是在看一个怪物一样。                                                                                                             “谢谢。”我补上一句。                                                                                                             她有点无可奈何，伸手拿过了杯子，然后往着厨房而去，走到厨房附近的时候她又回过了头朝着我挥着拳头。                                                                                                             她一点也不掩饰自己现在的心情。                                                                                                             她来这边有几次，每次来都会做一桌好吃的，我得承认，她的长相一般，但是手艺真的很好，据说家里面是开小饭馆的，估计也是这么锻炼下来的。                                                                                                             想到她做的菜，我有点开始期待晚上会是怎么样的菜se了。                                                                                                             在客厅里面等了好一会也不见她出来，我把电脑往着客厅茶几上一摆，然后往着厨房方向而去。                                                                                                             她站在厨房里面，没有开灯，身上系着围裙，从背影看上去特别的恬静，有一种让人想要从背后抱上去的冲动。                                                                                                             那种画面……一定很温馨。                                                                                                             不由得，我想起了那一天见到靳骐和她在厨房间里面接吻的场景，x口总觉得有点闷闷的。                                                                                                             “喂，泡杯红茶而已，动作这么慢？”                                                                                                             我出声问着，带了点恶声恶气，连我自己都不清楚自己为什么会用这样的语气对她说话。                                                                                                             “叮咚。”                                                                                                             烤箱发出很愉悦的声音。                                                                                                             她脸上的表情也很愉悦，带着隔热手套开了烤箱，然后取出烤盘，上面摆着金hse的小点心。                                                                                                             “李澈李澈，今天便宜你了！”                                                                                                             她冲着我笑，然后拿了夹子把那外表金hsu脆的小点心夹到盘子里面递给我，自己则是在那边泡着红茶。                                                                                                             不知道为什么，当我的名字从她嘴里面喊出来的时候我总觉得x口满满的暖暖的。                                                                                                             她端了红茶出来，递给我一杯，然后伸手去拿放在茶几上的小盘子上的小点心。                                                                                                             “那是什么玩意？”我问。                                                                                                             “相思饼，我以前从一本书上看到的，然后在家尝试做过了，放心我没有你那么恶毒所以没放毒药。”                                                                                                             她白我一眼，整个人像是猫一样蜷在那单人沙发上一边喝着红茶，一边吃着小点心。                                                                                                             相思饼，也就是这种长不大的人才会喜欢的东西。                                                                                                             我这样想着，但是却是去拿那所谓的相思病。                                                                                                             外面的是面粉，沾了蛋y放了细盐，不咸，里面裹了一颗相思梅，有点点的甜，有点点的酸。                                                                                                             明明是很怪异的口感，但是却很符合这饼的名称。                                                                                                             也许这就是相思的味道，我想。                                                                                                             靳骐醒来的时候见到的就是我和凌墨两个人窝在客厅里面一边喝着红茶，一边吃着相思饼，各g各的。                                                                                                             我有报告要写，而她则是看着她的电视。                                                                                                             晚上的时候我如愿以偿地一饱口福之yu，靳骐则是送凌墨到车站，等到他回来的时候，披头盖脸的就是一句问话。                                                                                                             “哥，你喜欢阿墨？”                                                                                                             我原本想要回自己房间，但是在听到他这句问话之后，开门的动作顿了顿。                                                                                                             “谁说的？”                                                                                                             我回头看着靳骐。                                                                                                             “我自己看出来。”靳骐回答我。                                                                                                             我从来不知道原来我这个表弟看事物也挺主观的。                                                                                                             “你错觉了。”我回答，“还有，你打算什么时候跟她说你要准备出国的事情？”                                                                                                             靳骐的表情瞬间变得有些僵y。                                                                                                             “你该不会不打算跟她说吧？”我问。                                                                                                             靳骐没有回答我，或许那个时候他是默认了。                                                                                                             有什么能够b不告而别更让人印象深刻的，因为从来都得不到一个具t的答案，所以才会记得很牢。                                                                                                             就像是凌墨那样。                                                                                                             我真的没有想到靳骐真的会不告而别，这一招虽然有点卑劣，但是看到她会哭的那么痛苦的时候，我觉得这一招还是很高明的，因为nv人可能不会记得谁对她最好，但是一定会记得让她哭的最惨的男人。                                                                                                             就像是靳骐那样的男人。                                                                                                             我傻傻地跟着凌墨回到了老家，第一次买冰欺凌给nv孩，而且还是一个丢脸丢到家的nv人。                                                                                                             早知道就应该放任不管的，我看着那红着鼻子红着眼睛像是一只兔子一样的nv人，忍不住叹气。                                                                                                             nv人失恋都是这么的惊天动地么，我想，如果那一天我真的喜欢上一个nv人的话，我想，我一定不会让她哭的那么惨的，多揪心啊，多丢人啊……                                                                                                             凌墨恢复的很快，或者也g本就没有恢复，因为我很少在她脸上再看到那没心没肺的笑了，有时候想想，还真的挺还念的，就算是她鼓着腮帮子像是一个包子一样对着我直嚷嚷“你很讨厌”这模样也是可ai至极的。                                                                                                             现在的她对所有的人都很客套，客套的像是和人划开了距离一样。                                                                                                             有时候遇上她的时候，不经意的还能从她眼神之中发现一种空洞。                                                                                                             阿骐走了，顺带地把她的活力也给带走了。                                                                                                             强颜欢笑，我只能这么形容她。                                                                                                             大四毕业的时候，班长回了老家去发展，我开车送他去机场，很多东西他已经用快递打包回家了，所有走的时候东西并不多。                                                                                                             原本我想留班长在这个城市帮我的，我用父母给的创业基金开了一间公司，但是他执意要走，据说远方有一个等着他的姑娘，他让她等了整整四年，他准备回去，即便最后不能在一起也想要陪着他。                                                                                                             在机场，班长和我聊了好一会，从刚入学说到了现在毕业，总觉得明明刚入大学没多久，现在却是毕业分离了。                                                                                                             “李澈啊，那nv生好吗？”班长问我。                                                                                                             “什么nv生？”我有些不解。                                                                                                             “当然是你心理面的那个人。”班长拍着我的肩膀，很哥俩好的模样，“那nv生不是在你心底住了好几年了么？”                                                                                                             “你个闷sao，那么多nv生主动追你你都不要，不就是为了你心底的那个姑娘么。”班长砸吧了两声道，“都毕业了，难道就还没有点动静？”                                                                                                             “没有。”我摇头，我心底哪有什么喜欢的人，如果有的话……                                                                                                             我停下了原本想要说的话，我的脑海之中想起的时候那个时候，凌墨站在球场边，手上抱着书，瞪大了眼睛努力想要看清人的样子，有点ga0笑，有点……                                                                                                             班长了然地拍了拍我的肩膀，一副“兄弟我是过来人”的模样。                                                                                                             我顿悟，突然有点想要笑出声的味道。                                                                                                             当年球场周围围了那么多的nv生，我一眼只看到了她，或者这早已经是注定。                                                                                                             那只包子……                                                                                                             那只站在球场边缘的包子，那只在厨房的包子，还有那站在樱花树下抬头看着樱花飞舞的包子，画面一下变得特别的清晰。                                                                                                             现在我和班长他们的联系已经不断，两年前班长结了婚，对象就是那等了四年的姑娘，年底的时候，班长夫人给他添了个大胖小子。                                                                                                             满月的时候，那满月酒摆的够大的，把当年玩的b较好的人全给请了，允许携伴参加，但是到场的，大概只有我一个没带伴的。                                                                                                             “还没上手呢？”一班老同学亏我。                                                                                                             “不急，慢慢来好了。”                                                                                                             我说，伸手m着班长家的小子，那软软的手感很好，很像包子。                                                                                                             网撒的大了点，所以收网的时候不能c之过急，只能慢慢来，不然的话，是会被狡猾的对手逃掉的。                                                                                                             我把手上的烟掐掉，转身回了房间，顺带地把落地窗给关上了，夜晚风大，尤其是这种临江边。                                                                                                             凌墨抱着大半条被子在我的床上睡的正熟，她习惯侧着睡，喜欢抱着被子，弯的像是一只虾米一样。                                                                                                             到底是多没安全感啊，我伸手去捏的她的脸，暖暖rr的，很包子的感觉。                                                                                                             她咕哝了一声，si命往着被子里面钻，整个人越缩越起劲。                                                                                                             我扯开被子，吻上她的唇，在她似醒非醒的时候推高了她的睡衣，扯下了唯一的遮蔽物，攻城略地。                                                                                                             “李澈，你就那么想拼肾么……”                                                                                                             她有些含糊不清，咕哝着，也不知道是疼还是在埋怨。                                                                                                             网都已经起收了，我怎么可能容许她从我手指缝里面溜掉，今天靳骐来虽然是有点意外，我倒觉得挺好的，这样一来，她也可以绝了念想，阿骐也可以绝了念想。                                                                                                             “凌墨你记住，那么多年的感情，不是你几天就可以还清的。”                                                                                                             我咬她的耳垂，在她耳边一次又一次地重复着。她被我咬的疼了，在那边嚷着疼，我改咬她的肩膀，像是烙印一样留下一个又一个的印子。                                                                                                             她只有疼才会记得更加牢固一些。                                                                                                             “要是你敢跑，我还知道你的老巢！”                                                                                                             我放狠话，虽然不知道她家到底在哪里，但是那小镇就那么点大小，随便抓个人问问也能问出个结果来。                                                                                                             “李澈！”                                                                                                             她终于像是清醒一样地尖叫出声。                                                                                                             “所以放下你的小心思，你躲不过的。”我说。                                                                                                             我看上的人，怎么可能会放过的。我从小习惯商场上的事情，自己又在商场上打拼了那么多年，她那点小心思g本就不够瞧的。                                                                                                             做人要懂得藏拙，可她偏偏不懂，但是我也挺ai她的小心思，每次被猜中之后看到她鼓着一张脸或者诧异的样子就觉得挺可ai的。                                                                                                             她的手指紧紧地扣着我的手臂，指甲像是要陷进去一样，她慌了，像是一直面对了危险的小动物一样，无力但是偏偏想要闪躲。                                                                                                             “就不能放过我么，我陪你一段时间，从此之后我和你们两个再也没有瓜葛。”                                                                                                             她问。                                                                                                             “老娘再也不想和你们有半毛钱的关系了！”她尖叫出声。                                                                                                             “然后，让你走掉，随便找个顺眼的男人结婚？”我基本上都能够猜到她的打算，“你想得美。”                                                                                                             我打断她的臆想，世界上哪有那么便宜的事情。                                                                                                             “你和阿骐之间有没有半毛钱的关系我不管，反正你和我之间的关系，很复杂，你做人不是一向很认命么，那么不妨认命一次又如何？”                                                                                                             我笑。                                                                                                             她和靳骐的纠葛可以算，和我的纠葛，她这辈子都别想。                                                                                                             我喜欢她，从很早的时候就开始喜欢。                                                                                                             但是我想，在她喜欢上我之前，我不会告诉她这一点，她需要自己学会眼睛去看。                                                                                                             我想她如果是一块泥巴就好了，这样，我会塑造出一个永远不会伤心的她。                                                                                                             正文 第三十八章                                                                                                             我觉得事态不能再这么发展下去了，再这么是下去，不管有多少药，早晚也都是得中那22%的机会的。                                                                                                             光是想想，我就觉得可怕。                                                                                                             “我也觉得可怕。”林淼淼赞同地点头。                                                                                                             我瞅着林淼淼，突然觉得这个姐们也是挺有血x的，也不枉我请她喝了一杯星巴克的咖啡，她的反应绝对对得起这价位。                                                                                                             “要真有了，生出来之后千万别送我那边的幼儿园，我可不想面对你的小孩，光是想想，我都觉得蛋疼……”                                                                                                             林淼淼啜了一口咖啡之后又开了口。                                                                                                             收回前言，这家伙g本就对不起这价位，这钱打水漂至少还有个声响，丢林淼淼身上绝对一点声响都没有。                                                                                                             “问题不在于小孩的份上吧，要真有了，又不是没有办法解决，重点还在于你要不要生的问题。”                                                                                                             林淼淼伸手戳我的脑袋，明显事情不发生在她的身上，她是站着说话不腰疼。                                                                                                             的确也是的，现在医学那么的发达，又不像是几十年那样，要是真的不幸了，一个小手术的时间就能ga0定。                                                                                                             但是……                                                                                                             光是想想，我都觉得有些残忍。                                                                                                             “唔，我买了那么多次彩票，连五块钱都没有中过，应该不会那么幸运吧？”我g笑着，要是真的不幸有了，我就切掉李澈的h瓜算了。                                                                                                             “你就抱着这种侥幸的心态一直下去算了！”林淼淼眼神之中无尽的鄙视，“g脆一直就等到你肚子大起来算了！”                                                                                                             “嘿，我说林淼淼你一天不亏我你就不安心是吧？”                                                                                                             我怨念无b，她就不能说点好听点的话来安慰安慰我那焦躁的心情。                                                                                                             “我跟你说，这莫非定律说了，你越不想发生的事情它越会发生。你越担心有吧，指不定哪天你就真的有了。”                                                                                                             林淼淼喝了一口咖啡，表情高深莫测，十足神棍的样子。                                                                                                             唔……                                                                                                             “难道你要让我希望怀上不可么？”                                                                                                             我苍凉远目，这g本就怎么想都不对啊！                                                                                                             “乖，别想了别想了……”林淼淼m了m我的头，低声安慰着。                                                                                                             之前说的那么的犀利，现在又要我什么都不想，哪有这么轻松的事情啊，我喝着自己手上的咖啡，决定把林淼淼说的都当做是废话。                                                                                                             “怎么，你今天逛街了”                                                                                                             林淼淼伸手打开了我放在一边的衣服袋子，里面是我刚刚买的一身新衣服。                                                                                                             “恩，刚逛了一圈，然后看到好就买了，现在的衣服你说价格那么高，但是还是一大堆人和不要钱一样的哄抢！”                                                                                                             说起这衣服，我就觉得有点郁闷，刚刚逛了一趟商场，特别好的好货买不起，一般x的好货大家一起抢，而且还不是周末呢，到处都是人挤人的，逛了一圈都觉得有些腻烦。                                                                                                             然后就跑来了林淼淼幼儿园附近的，反正这个时候那群小毛孩子都在午睡的时候，还能够拉人出来喝杯咖啡。                                                                                                             “那你不也是哄抢回来了么！”林淼淼笑我。                                                                                                             也对，姐也哄抢了一把，现在购物还好，要是等到圣诞或者新年的时候，那个时候才是真的人山人海，那个时候去购物才叫真的痛苦。                                                                                                             “刷他的卡？”林淼淼问我。                                                                                                             “怎么可能？！”我惊讶无b，对于林淼淼的话震撼无b，我怎么可能会去刷他的卡我又不是没是钱。                                                                                                             “恩？”                                                                                                             林淼淼支着下巴。                                                                                                             “所以，你花销还是你自己的？”                                                                                                             我点头，我从来没有花男人钱的习惯存在，当然，我爸的除外。在恋ai的时候，我也不曾真的想要把对方当做饭卡或者是提款机的想法存在，以前在没戴钱包的情况下问；李澈借的钱我也不曾借钱不还啊。                                                                                                             正所谓有借有还再借不难，这样想想，姐多纯良啊。                                                                                                             “在你身上还真的没有一点潜规则的感觉。”林淼淼叹了一口气。                                                                                                             “原本就不算是潜规则啊。”                                                                                                             我抗议，我哪里有被潜的样子，g本一点都不像吧。                                                                                                             “喂，你给他买衣服？”                                                                                                             林淼淼接着看着我的衣服袋子，在另外一个袋子里面是一套男士西装。                                                                                                             “怎么可能！”我怪叫，“那是我爸的衣服！”                                                                                                             不要那么敏感，不要觉得是男士的衣服就是给他买的，多冤枉啊，那家伙最不缺的就是西装衬衫一类的，哪里还需要我去买。                                                                                                             “无缘无故买了那么多东西g嘛？”林淼淼翻过那一个又一个的袋子，咂舌，“你中五百万了？”                                                                                                             “哪能！”                                                                                                             我叹气，要是中五百万就好了，我就可以t验一下富婆的感受了，哪用在那边辛辛苦苦上班赚那么丁点的工资。                                                                                                             “还不是阿砚，那小鬼这个周末要结婚了。”                                                                                                             我皱了皱眉头，阿砚是我的堂弟，全名叫做凌砚，b我小两岁。                                                                                                             在他才丁点大的时候，我叔和婶离了，是我nn一手带大的，但是其中也有我妈一般的功劳，他从小和我腻歪在一起，我学会自个吃饭的时候，他只会管我妈喊妈，我老娘就得一口一口喂着他吃饭。                                                                                                             从幼儿园，小学，初中，高中一路过来，这小子就像是个跟p虫一样一路跟上来，直到大学没有靠上我在的z大他才没有跟上来。                                                                                                             但是这一转眼的，这混蛋居然b我这个当姐姐先结婚了，可想而知，这次回去免不得被亲戚一顿念了。                                                                                                             果然白云苍狗，一下子那个曾经跟在我pgu后头的小鬼都要结婚了，而姐我还没找到良人，总觉得有点讽刺的味道……                                                                                                             林淼淼也皱了皱眉，相信的此时此刻她的感觉是和我差不多的，她看了看手表，站起了身。                                                                                                             “我得回去了，那群小p孩们也差不多该醒了。”                                                                                                             “下次见。”                                                                                                             我点头，看着林淼淼推开星巴克的门，然后出去，接着穿过马路渐渐地走远，突然地，只觉得好像很闲的人，只有我一个。                                                                                                             李澈当然不像是我，停摆了工作之后游手好闲，他勤奋的让我都觉得有些丢脸，但是转念一想，我有一点b他好，我绝对不会过劳si。                                                                                                             才回来没多久，刚给自己倒了一杯水喝的时候，就有人按了门铃。                                                                                                             这个时候，谁会来这里？该不会是李澈的爸妈吧？                                                                                                             背后总隐约有点发凉，我想了想，也不知道该应声还是应该装作这个家里面没有人，但是在纠结了半天之后，我决定还是去门口透过那猫眼看看。                                                                                                             透过那猫眼一看，我倒是淡定了，因为来人熟的狠。                                                                                                             我舒了一口气，然后把门给打开了。                                                                                                             “李澈现在不在家，有事的话不如等晚上他回来？”我脸上带着笑，看着站在房门外的人，突然觉得自己这种姿态还有点nv主人的味道。                                                                                                             屋外站着我那不知道前几任的男友，而我站在一个不算是现男友的屋子里面摆着nv主人的姿态，瞧这苦b的人生。                                                                                                             “我不找他，我找你。”靳骐看着我，一字一顿。                                                                                                             听着他这说辞，我怎么就觉得我像是欠了他钱不还还带跑路的味道。                                                                                                             “好。”                                                                                                             我点头，然后退开了身，让他进门来。                                                                                                             “要喝茶吗？”                                                                                                             我看着靳骐在客厅的沙发上坐下，很是顺口地问着。                                                                                                             靳骐微微皱了皱眉。                                                                                                             “给我一杯水吧！”                                                                                                             我进了厨房去给他倒水，端了水出来的时候，他依旧坐在沙发上，维持的是和刚刚差不多的动作，有点发呆的样子。                                                                                                             我把水递过去，他接了过去，端在手心，没有要喝的感觉，等到后来的时候。                                                                                                             “有事么？”                                                                                                             我坐在另外一边的沙发上，看着靳骐。                                                                                                             他是特地来的吧，我想，明知道今天不是周末，李澈不可能会在家，挑这种时间点上门来要说是找李澈，别说他了，连我都不相信这个借口。                                                                                                             当然的，我也不是欣赏他的直白，只是这不拐弯抹角让我觉得不需要多费思量也挺好的。论玩心思论玩手段，我都不是他们两个的对手，g心斗角不是咱这种小白型号的人该做的事情。                                                                                                             “阿墨……”                                                                                                             靳骐清了清嗓子开口。                                                                                                             “你是不是在报复我？”靳骐问我，表情严肃，声音更加严肃。                                                                                                             我默然。                                                                                                             他自我感觉似乎太良好了，良好到我很想打击的一下冲动。                                                                                                             “唉，这都多少年了，我谈的男人次数又不是只有一次两次，要报复早报复完了，哪能现在才来报复……”                                                                                                             我扬高了声调，也不知道是不是有心，我总觉得我在说这话的时候，像是带了点嘲讽的味道。                                                                                                             好吧，我是真的带了嘲讽的意味，很明显的，靳骐也听出来了，他的脸se黑了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，你就非要那么和我说话不可么？”                                                                                                             靳骐问着，声音透着点痛苦。                                                                                                             我想他真的不懂得什么叫做痛苦，因为他真的没有痛苦过，没有t会过那种心里面空荡一片的味道。                                                                                                             他可以光鲜亮丽，顶着海g的头衔，他可以身价百倍，顶着一个继承人的身份，他可以身边美nv如云……                                                                                                             他从来都不曾真正尝到过那种痛苦的味道。                                                                                                             第三十九章                                                                                                             我自认为我说话还是挺得t的，要是真的不得t，刚刚那一杯水不是塞到他的手上而是直接泼他脸上了。                                                                                                             所以，我的容忍限度还是挺大的。                                                                                                             “你别想太多，我一直挺嘴欠的，这一点，认识的人都知道。”                                                                                                             我抓了抓头发，我一向如此，按照文雅和依依的话，我说话时不时会在别人都没有意识到时候语出惊人，这个我也没有什么办法，一切都是要淡定啊。                                                                                                             “阿墨，你是不是觉得我特别讨厌？”                                                                                                             靳骐问。                                                                                                             真不容易，这哥们终于看出这点端倪来了。                                                                                                             “讨厌吧，也算不上。”                                                                                                             我说，反正最讨厌的时候已经过去了，现在，算不上特别讨厌，但是也绝对不算是对他还有其他的好感。                                                                                                             虽然人都有点贱骨心理，可那么多年过去了还指望着和这个男人旧情复燃，或者那种回首过来前程尽忘，或者说在抛弃多年之后回过头来随随便便来一句“对不起”，然后nv主就会原谅，来个he结尾的剧情小说看着是觉得不错，但是这种事情放在自己身上的时候，我觉得那种大方的原谅，然后破镜重圆的故事是属于童话。                                                                                                             “反正我们之间也早就已经成了那过去式了。”我无b淡定，“而且天涯上的姐妹们也说了，谁没在年轻的时候遇上那一两个渣男过。”                                                                                                             在靳骐走的时候，有很长一段时间，我无法淡定，成为文雅之后经常会在各大网站上转悠的孩子，灌贴，留言，置顶这些事情都g过，后来在别人的经历之中寻求到了平衡，至少我遇上的人不是什么咆哮教主或者有自nve或者nve人。                                                                                                             谁没在年轻的时候遇上那一辆渣男或是jp，神马都是浮云啊，这就是素未谋面的论坛姐妹们给的最好定论。                                                                                                             所以，姐也只是运气不好，在青春里面遇上了一个渣男。                                                                                                             曾经何时，有那么一个渣男，他只骗了一阵子，骗了se。                                                                                                             曾经何时，有那么一个渣男，他骗了一辈子，骗财骗se又骗情。                                                                                                             我挺幸运的，遇上的渣男，除了感情以外，似乎什么都没有得到，当然的，我除了感情以外，也什么都没有失去。                                                                                                             靳骐的脸se又黑了，大约我刚刚说的那句话又让他觉得不爽了吧，但是对不起，在我的概念里面，他的确是一个渣男不错。                                                                                                             “那么多年了，你不一定还喜欢着我，当然的，也不可能会ai我一类的。”                                                                                                             我支着下巴，看着靳骐，很多话从见面的时候我就一直很想说了，但是一直因为估计一些原因所以才没有开口，但是今天他话都说到这个份上了，我要是还什么都不说，这看上去就像是被人一直踩在脚下什么都说不出口呢。                                                                                                             “要是这么一来，你还说你还喜欢我、还ai你，这台词听上去多矫情！”我笑，当然的，靳骐也没有这么说过，要是他这么说了之后，我才真的有点受不了。                                                                                                             “当然的，也许如果你真的说喜欢我，还ai我，但是我们不得不承认，我们中间空窗了那么多年是事实，你还喜欢的可能还是当年大学没有毕业的我。”                                                                                                             就像是我一样，如果现在我还说我喜欢着靳骐，我绝对喜欢的还是在我印象之中的那个靳骐，那个还没有大学毕业会陪着我一起疯一起闹的那个靳骐，而不是现在的这个靳骐，现在这个靳骐，除了那一张脸，剩下的都陌生的可怕。                                                                                                             他不了解现在的我，不了解现在的我是多么的粗俗，当然我也不了解现在的他。                                                                                                             “阿墨，我不是……”                                                                                                             靳骐想要开口解释，但是在我一个眼神的阻止下，他又沉默了。                                                                                                             “别说你不是，你敢打包票说你还觉得我依旧是那个时候的凌墨？”我打断靳骐要说话，这种话说出来我都觉得有点不好意思。                                                                                                             “你觉得难以忘怀，是因为我现在和你表哥李澈在一起吧？”                                                                                                             话虽然是这么问着，但是我基本上都已经肯定了这个答案。                                                                                                             “你只是觉得难以接受而已。”                                                                                                             别说是靳骐了，如果这种事情搁在我的身上我都觉得有些难以接受，总觉得有点耿耿于怀。                                                                                                             所以说靳骐现在不见得对我有特别多的感情，但是他和李澈之间的兄弟情肯定是b我们这种儿nv情长要坚固的多了。                                                                                                             “你都已经下了这么一个结论了，你还要我怎么说？”                                                                                                             靳骐看着我，神情懊恼，瞅着纠结无b。                                                                                                             “如果你这么认为，那就是这样吧！”                                                                                                             靳骐冷冷地说出这一句。                                                                                                             听到靳骐这么说的时候，我突然觉得有种很难以言喻的感觉，真不知道是该为自己这么多年来未忘的情感而哀悼还是别的什么。                                                                                                             我未放下的是过往，而他没放下的……却只是偏执而已。                                                                                                             如果在这个时候他能够在多说一点，再多辩解一点，或者我会……我会……                                                                                                             我也不知道我会怎么样，也不知道会改变些什么，或者，多说什么多做什么都已经是没有用了。                                                                                                             靳骐坐了没一会就走了，我也不拦他，反正该来的总是会来，该走的总是要走的，强求不来，就算是强求也强求不到。                                                                                                             我维持着最后的动作不动，蜷缩在沙发上。                                                                                                             不得不感叹李澈的家具选的不错，在沙发上窝那么久也没有觉得难受，果然所有的东西都是烧钱的才是最好。                                                                                                             李澈回来的时候，我也还蜷在沙发上，宅nv逛街总是觉得有点痛苦的，会手脚发软，即便是坐下来之后也会觉得腿不停地发抖。                                                                                                             “在呢？”                                                                                                             李澈看了我一眼。                                                                                                             “今天不做饭？”他问，声音里头一派理所当然。                                                                                                             “我又不是煮饭婆，我的功效难道就是煮饭么？”                                                                                                             我反问，这感觉真让人感觉到不爽啊，一回来就问我做不做饭，我又不是那h脸婆，g嘛总是给他做饭。                                                                                                             “恩，不煮饭的，你想光暖床？”                                                                                                             李澈问我，一脸明摆着的神情丢过来。                                                                                                             “……”我杜绝和他说话，他气si人很有本事，越和他说话，越能气si个人。                                                                                                             “不想做就算了，等会出去吃。我去换件衣服……”                                                                                                             李澈有时候还是一个b较会做人的，还懂得改变话题，但是对于他某一个程度上的洁癖，我还真的是不能认同的。                                                                                                             “你现在换了吧，等会吃完回来不是还要洗个澡么，你那个时候就不换了。你也真不嫌麻烦。”                                                                                                             我说，他倒是觉得轻松了，但是这洗衣服的人可都是我啊！这不是变相地加重了我的负担么，这男人忒让人觉得郁闷了。                                                                                                             “要想不g活也行啊，等你肚子大起来的时候，足够你清闲上一两年的。”李澈嘴角微微一ch0u，笑的别有深意。                                                                                                             我一抖，感觉这菊花一紧。                                                                                                             “算了算了，你还是去换吧，我洗！我洗还不行么！”我捂脸，觉得自己真的很没有志气。                                                                                                             但是肚子和衣服b起来，还是肚子b较好一点，我可不想挺着一个肚子挺上好几个月。                                                                                                             李澈进了房间了，一会之后他的声音从房间里面传出来。                                                                                                             “凌墨，你给我做饭去！”                                                                                                             ……                                                                                                             这又是怎么了？刚刚不是还说好是要去外面吃的么，怎么现在又要我做饭了？而且现在这声音听上去，似乎火气挺大的。                                                                                                             我扭头去看，这小子又在闹神马别扭哟。                                                                                                             李澈站在门口，脸se奇臭无b。                                                                                                             “我饿了，给我做饭。”                                                                                                             李澈站在房间门口，特别大爷地交代着。                                                                                                             这谁欠他了呀这是！                                                                                                             我郁闷地从沙发上爬起来。                                                                                                             “哦……”我泱泱地应着。                                                                                                             第四十章                                                                                                             李澈的火气来的很没由来，在厨房摘菜的时候我才恍然醒悟到这一点，但是为什么我还要听话的在这厨房里面摘菜？                                                                                                             中国几千年以来大多数的人都是奴才，但是现在都已经改革开放很多年了，就连社会都已经开始吹起了和谐的号角了，我居然还一骨子的奴x。                                                                                                             凌墨，你果然是没救了！                                                                                                             我严重地唾弃自己。                                                                                                             李澈一直很大爷。                                                                                                             他很大爷地把我赶去厨房做饭，然后就很大爷地在客厅坐着，摆着很大爷的姿态，膝盖上还摆着一台笔记本电脑，就连神情也很大爷。                                                                                                             大爷之中的典范，大爷之中的经典，也许哪一天就会成为二爷了。唔，你问我二爷是神马？有二n就二爷。                                                                                                             折腾了半天之后，我把菜端到了客厅，然后开口喊他吃饭。                                                                                                             他不咸不淡地应了一声，那声音就像是从鼻孔里面哼出来的一样，带着点鼻音，听上去可让人觉得郁闷不已。                                                                                                             我觉得我果然是在自己折腾自己。                                                                                                             李澈应了半天，但是好一会也不见他有什么反应，我都已经把饭盛出来端到了餐桌上，大爷他还是没有半点的动静、                                                                                                             “你刚刚不是嚷着饿么，你刚刚不是催着我给你做饭么，怎么现在倒是一动不动的了？”我恼了，朝着李澈嚷嚷着，这男人果然指使别人很有一套，难不成还指望着我三催四请供着他，喂给他？                                                                                                             我还不至于奴x到这种地步吧？                                                                                                             “怎么，这样就觉得不耐烦了么？”李澈把黏在电脑屏幕上的视线挪开了一点点，匀到了我身上。                                                                                                             “你今天在矫情什么？”                                                                                                             我问着李澈，平常的时候虽然一直都知道这个男人难伺候，但是今天似乎特别的难伺候，难伺候到家的感觉了。                                                                                                             真不知道这家伙今天到底在ga0什么鬼，要知道我今天面对靳骐都没有多说什么了，他还给我摆着一张脸se看，要知道我也有脾气的哇，可不是随随便便给人捏捏都可以当做没有什么事情发生一样。                                                                                                             “凌墨，这句话应该我来问你才对。”                                                                                                             李澈把笔记本往着茶几上一放，寒着一张的脸问着我。                                                                                                             “你又在闹什么别扭，我对你还不够好？”                                                                                                             我？                                                                                                             我又怎么了，他要我去做饭，我不爽还不是乖乖地去做了，我从头到尾都没有招惹他，也没有yan奉y违，他还有什么好指责的？                                                                                                             顶多就是让他先吃饭再换一身衣服呗，难道这个也不行么？                                                                                                             我m着鼻子，暗想着这男人是不是真的洁癖到这种完全不可理喻的程度，这也实在是太震撼到不可让人相信的程度了。                                                                                                             “要不，咱先吃饭？肚子饿的时候脾气最容易坏了……”                                                                                                             这个我b较有经验，这就像是起床的时候有起床气一样，完全不可避免，要是再这么接着饿下去，估计我们两个等会会摔锅砸碗，直接上演全武行了。                                                                                                             我都已经先服软了，他也就顺着这个台阶下了吧，别再和我闹腾。                                                                                                             但是很显然的，李澈没有想要和我罢休的念头，他就打算直接和我g下去，不管是在言论上的还是在实际行动上的，他都没有打算放过我。                                                                                                             这个男人y晴不定！                                                                                                             李澈这男人让我想起了当年的看清穿小说曾经萌的天昏地暗的清朝男人四四，那个时候康熙多少儿子，我光光看上的就这个男人，那个时候觉得四四那冰冷帅哥型号酷的特别的有魅力，但是自从和李澈相处了之后，我觉得身边有个冷酷的男人还真的是一件挺为难的事情。                                                                                                             这男人的心思你别猜啊你别猜。人人都说nv人心海底针，其实说这句话的时候多半都是从男人的嘴巴里说出来的，其实男人的心思又何尝不是一样的呢。                                                                                                             不管是猜对还是猜错，反正都是没有什么好事的。                                                                                                             所以现在我特别能够理解康熙当年说四四y晴不定特别的正确，看李澈就能够看出一二来，这个男人把反复无常演绎的淋漓尽致，之前还好端端的，这一下子又是起了变化了，我都不知道这男人到底是想要怎么样了。                                                                                                             所以好不容易见他肯动手吃晚饭，我觉得特别的感动，因为你对这种男人真的要求不能忒高，你要求越高，越会失望。                                                                                                             好不容易把晚饭扒拉完，李大爷他表情还是没有舒缓过来，依旧是臭着一张脸，在那边玩着他的电脑，上面全部都是曲线图，即便智商不高如我也能够看出个所以然来，这个男人居然也会玩玩炒gu。                                                                                                             我端了一杯茶，坐一边，他这种姿态我也不敢像是昨天一样把电视给开了在那边看新闻看我的八点档，我没胆，真的！                                                                                                             “你炒gu？”静默了一阵之后，我开始没话找话，因为两个人都沉默在那里，整个房子都静悄悄的感觉特别的空荡荡，我可不习惯这种氛围。                                                                                                             “恩。”李澈虚应了一声，一会之后才又缓缓地问了一声，“怎么，你也有兴趣？”                                                                                                             我摇头，这种兴趣可不是我这种小职员应该有的，没听见别人都在那边喊“gu市有风险，入行虚谨慎”，那什么情场失意赌场得意这种好事从来不在我身上发生，不然我早成了亿万富翁了，我们这种人还是指望着过过自己的小日子就好了，不需要有太大的出息。                                                                                                             话题结束，我们两个又再度陷入了沉默之中，沉默的我很想在那边画圈圈。                                                                                                             “看你这样也不像是要看电视，g脆洗洗回去睡了吧！”                                                                                                             李澈敲着键盘，在那“噼噼啪啪”的敲击声之中响起的时候听上去特别的清晰，但是听到他那一句“洗洗睡了”这种话的时候，我就觉得有点菊花一紧的感觉。                                                                                                             要知道这种话可是有引申含义的，在那个电视电脑娱乐节目不盛行的年代，流行的就是“洗洗睡了”之后的活动，一个一个都是光荣的妈妈啊光荣妈妈。                                                                                                             要不是看在某个人醉心在炒gu这项赌博上，我会这么的安分么？                                                                                                             “唔，还早吧……”我挠头，这两天对于“睡觉”这个词，姐有点还是觉得有点心理y影的。                                                                                                             “那好，咱们聊聊。”                                                                                                             李澈像是早就已经知道我会是这么一个回答，很自然而然地把搁在膝盖上的笔记本电脑往着茶几上一放。                                                                                                             聊天，成，总b那“洗洗睡了”来的安全得多。                                                                                                             我想了想之后点了点头，聊吧聊吧，聊点八卦一类的也不错，至少可以消化一下刚吃下去没多久的饭食。                                                                                                             “今天你出去了？”李澈开口问。                                                                                                             “恩。”                                                                                                             我点头，我出去并不算是一件很不正常的事情，之前不过都是出去上班，今天是出去逛街而已。                                                                                                             “还去逛街了？”李澈接着问。                                                                                                             “你怎么知道？”                                                                                                             我有点后知后觉地问着，这家伙不会在房间里面装了针孔摄影机一类吧，话说寂寞久了的男人的确有可能会有一些乱七八糟的嗜好，这一点谁都不保准。                                                                                                             这么一想之后，我觉得有点芒刺在背如坐针毡的味道，觉得自己身后腻出了一身的薄汗，我条件反s一样地m了m自己的鼻子，上面也有了一层薄汗。                                                                                                             好吧，我被自己的想法给吓到了。                                                                                                             “你东西都已经打包好了，长眼的人都看见了。”李澈的声音带了点冷然。                                                                                                             “啊，你看见了啊。”                                                                                                             我算是了然了，今天这家伙到底是为了什么开始反常了，大概就是看到了我收拾了一个箱子，里面装的都是过两天回家要带走的东西。                                                                                                             “啊，你看见了啊……”李澈重复我刚刚说的话，语调yyan怪气的，听着感觉特别的渗人，他的眉头微微皱着，“你还指望着我还没瞧见？”                                                                                                             那么一大箱子扔在墙角，这都要是没瞧见的话，不是睁眼瞎子么！我在心底嘀咕了一声，表示还是没有胆量把这句话说出口。                                                                                                             瞧见就瞧见呗，反正里头也没有什么不可告人的东西。                                                                                                             “打算要走？”                                                                                                             我看了看李澈的脸se，他的表情微微有些难看，虽然不想承认，但是我还是点了点头，日子都已经定下来了，不走不行。                                                                                                             “你居然还敢点头，你当我是si人呢？！”                                                                                                             李澈怒不可遏。                                                                                                             我愕然，我回家和他是si人和活人有神马差别，就算是他真的是si人，我也不能拿到半毛钱不是？！                                                                                                             “话说，真的打算这么聊下去？”                                                                                                             我觉得忐忑神曲在我耳边不断地重复着，觉得这话题这么聊下去的话，这火药味会越来越重等会保不准有人会掀桌而起，不是他掀起，大概就是我掀了吧！